SPACEMEAT

Thinking of chomping down on a fat juicy Flank Steak? You’re not the only one!

“There is a cultural love affair with meat,” said Steve Somers, the CEO of meat-alternative startup SPACEMEAT, at the fifth annual Space Food Alternatives Business Conference today in Botswana.

And Somers is here to help you through the breakup.

The Wisconsin-based company is turning the synthetic meat market on its head with it's latest Space Food breakthrough - SPACEMEAT. It's quadruple the size of the biggest whale on earth, and entirely made of meat! Many beef aficionados and have already said their goodbyes to conventional earth grown meat. He wants more to join that pack.

"What we've done is to take the best parts of Earth animals, THE MEAT, and allow them to grow the way nature intended - in outer space. Using the Zero-G benefits of low earth orbit, and healthy doses of the galaxy's most abundant source of healthy radiation - the Sun, we've perfected a type of meat that is not only delicious, but endless in it's abundance."

Somers went on to describe in oblique vagueries the trade secret method used to make his signature meat product. Calling it a "Secret Cthulhoid Recipe handed down from ancient aeons." and went on to proclaim "It's all about helping people, and showing them something delightful" No doubt in reference to his companies showstopping method for cooking the meat. "Quite Simple" he says "When the meat has matured into it's full 80 ton Adult form our special culinary satellites nudge it ever so gently into our atmosphere, and as it becomes a blazing fireball streaking through the night sky it cooks itself to perfection."

mmm.. delicious!